I am SO Effing Screwed!!!

Robin Fru Fru I Love You TOO!

Background : I have a Fabulous Friend and Sister Like person in my life. ROBIN She is that one friend that you know, you can always count on to tell you like it is; whether you want to hear that.. especially if you don't actually want to hear it. Reality Smack! <Robin's Forte> Of course this is how she views me as well, "One does not need to in your face everyday to show that you are a best friend." In fact it is probably a better way to keep and be a friend.. or so we think.

History :4 months ago, I went to a potluck/silent auction/ fundraiser  .. after 60 minutes of being there, I found out, much to my horror that it was a fundraiser for a drug dealer who blew himself up while cooking hash oil, I was so embarrassed... but being a good sport I simply blushed in a dark corner bypassing all the wonderfully donated products for bidding. The Hydroponic Starter kit was tempting, as were the various colourful bongs and such. The only thing a Preschool Teacher such as myself could bid on was a lovely set of cheap Twilight watches, which of course I did not win!

I returned home and did the only natural thing, I called Robin to tell her about my night, 4 hours in the time difference she had PLENTY of time to laugh at my expense and post about it on Facebook, while I slept off the beer I needed to consume to deal with the mess..YAY Me!

So Robin's Birthday (MOST UNFITTING I might add,) is September and she is ironically the ONLY Non OCD Virgo I know, just for the record. And I, being the most clever person I know; I started early, prepping for the event, I logged on to e-bay ordered her the one thing she REALLY wanted (I am thoughtful like that when plied with liquor and a credit card..) I also bought a Twilight watch too because thoughtful, I am  but spiteful I am too, it's the gender! 


I sent my ADHA friend a Play By Play Video Full directions and sequenced Prezzie (cause I AM a bitch like that)  Laughing, Joking,Singing, Organ Playing (Yeah I went there...) Gift. Truly, according to sources, it left her weeping, ;laughing, and peeing her pants... I ended with a gift that symbolizes that without a doubt we would be friends, Like TWILIGHT Style forever...


Awesome friend aren't I?  I Know you wish you had someone like me...  didn't cost a huge amount but it did take planning and thought...  and It IS the thought that counts right?


ENTER FUCKING FORKS WASHINGTON...

Yes Yes Yes  That is ME!!!!... attached to a fly swatter... covering 
my beloved's face... Seriously!!!!!!! YES That  Is Robin My Bestie, She Toured Twilight's Forks Washington and took photos of MANY... and I Mean MANY places about town that are in the books.. (Bella didn't have a job in the movies, remember?).. yeah there is a picture of me in Outfitters Mike's Parents store... I even had breakfast..

Under normal circumstances this may seem like a really sweet thing to do especially since we both read the series and secretly admit to dragging  local youth to the theatre claiming we are "treating" someone..  to the movie, might have even added the word "unfortunate" when telling each other about it too... However... Ummm yeah  AND  this IS my friend Robin!
Someone may  begin this by thinking.. Ah sweet a girlfriend posts your likeness around a town you may someday visit with fondness and think ..  Awww Yes 17...






OH Effing No She posted my WANTED poster TOO all over the place..  no seriously 77 pictures around...
Oh???  How am I screwed????  My birthday is a month away......  Apparently THIS is just the beginning!!!!!!  ARGH!!!!!

Who would post your bail?

I have been obsessing about this blog all day.. and since I am still only posting to myself.. I started drinking and asking myself questions.. because that of course is when I am the most witty and enjoyable to talk to..

I asked WHO AM I? and of course I had a great answer..  I am Me!  I am a 39 year old woman with 2 jobs, 3 cats but sadly, only one man.. I am a horrid house keeper and even worse cook, which makes the name of this blog page even more ironic! 

David is my partner, I will no doubt bitch and moan about him a lot, while he is a fantastic cook.. he is a lousy cleaner upper.Unlike most couples who fight about money..  this is not our issue..  I think I would probably pass out if I saw him with a spray bottle of cleaner!


NEXT QUESTION: If I was in trouble, who would post bail?
He would not be my only jail allotted phone call, though I do love him dearly!


Sherry
My best and longest friend and I have a fab story about how we met.. Sherry and I met after I got my waist length hair shorn to a page boy; my mom got tired of dealing with a lice infestation.. I was 7. I did however get rewarded by having my ears pierced because I was so good! :D It was Brownies Thinking Day..1978 if you need details like that..  and this beautiful girl kept waving her hair like you do when you first get your hair cut, feeling the difference of the length... (come ON you have all know the feeling!!) I timidly approached her and started with the hard questions right away.. "I like your long hair, do you wanna play?" We have been best friends ever since!
Ignorance is BLISS!
10 years later Sherry got her first car, she had been in an accident when we were 10 years old and ended up with a pretty hefty settlement. She bought a Dodge Shadow.. Yeah cause that's how WE roll bitch! She drove into my Grandmother's driveway to pick me up and she had a Handicap plate on her car.  I was like WTF? Why do you have that???  She motioned to herself and replied.. "Ah, you like, never noticed??"   er.. No I didn't!!!!!! 


It's been 32 years now, since we met, we seem to only get together for movies lately, She's that one friend I could see anything with, she not only has seen me cry but she has raced to be with me when I needed someone never a question asked and vice versa, once I X country skied 5 kms to her in a snow storm because she was afraid to be alone..


After we saw Bridesmaids, (Which you have to watch with someone who has held your hair while you're vomiting and pissing your pants)..  she was driving me home, while chewing gum she hears a crack and cusses loudly! She hands me her gum and her tooth and cries "Is that my tooth? Oh My God!! Oh My God!!"


Bingo! I spurt out, "You would post my bail if I ever required? right?" 
To which she replied. "WHAT?!?!?!"
"Nothing" I said wrapping the gum separately from the tooth, "just thinking aloud"
"I hope the tooth fairy comes" 


I called her Mom for good measure and pointed out she should stick a twoonie under her pillow before she gets home.

Why Bother Blogging????

Most people have thoughts.. (I know I do!) but because of my life I can't always say exactly what I am thinking at the moment that I think it, I must maintain a professional persona.For Example. Three weeks ago I posted a very ODD status on my Facebook page. Stating I have a sense of humour.. I am allowed to.. and get this, I find things funny!  My Boss thought  WOW  what's up with her? and a couple other people in my life were confused as, while it is common knowledge that I laugh at stuff and find amusement in strange places. a little farther down on my wall was this bitch screaming and yelling at me because I "liked" and commented on one of those Inspirational Pictures with a sexual overtone. Disgrace to my career, my position of trust etc.. etc.. eventually it just read blah blah blah...

While I totally disagree, I am an adult, I behave relativity well online. though I do comment on other people's walls with choice language sometimes if the mood strikes me. I don't cuss on mine and neither do my friends. 
HOWEVER I need some freedom!

Are You Goulash?

I am a product of my environment, in fact, I refer to my upbringing and my life as an adult as Goulash.


Here's how it started, I grew up in a small community, it wasn't even a town or a village, it was a community that linked together with a couple extra communities to have a summer fair,  Yeah, it was THAT small. My core family lived less then 1 km away from me, Though I did have an Aunt Shirley and Uncle Brian who lived in Ottawa, most of the primary characters in my life lived within 1 km.


My Dad was a meat and potatoes man, on weekends if he worked or wasn't going to be home. Mom would make something very cool for lunch, like tuna fish sandwiches and potato chips. (we were allowed to smash the chips in the sandwich too!) Captain Burgers, or Beef and Broccoli,  My cousin Pam, who lived across the street,  Her mom made this delectable dish called Goulash. We never HAD Goulash at our house, but we did have it at hers, it was VERY good, Aunt Rose had a "recipe", my entire life I only knew my Mom to follow recipes for baking or something for a Potluck. We did not know Goulash formally!


Though I will never know my Aunt Rose's Recipe (Ironically Pam's a Chef in a Fancy Smancy Resort hit by hurricane's regularly) I have since learned that all families make goulash a different way there isn't a true recipe that can be followed, in fact we are all goulash, made up of the things just around, stuck together, and served. Tomatoes are a common ingredient. Those will be my family and friends.. 
My Blog, and this IS my first entry, will be about my observations,and how I see things based on my personal recipe for Goulash. A Little bit of EVERYTHING!