Who would post your bail?

I have been obsessing about this blog all day.. and since I am still only posting to myself.. I started drinking and asking myself questions.. because that of course is when I am the most witty and enjoyable to talk to..

I asked WHO AM I? and of course I had a great answer..  I am Me!  I am a 39 year old woman with 2 jobs, 3 cats but sadly, only one man.. I am a horrid house keeper and even worse cook, which makes the name of this blog page even more ironic! 

David is my partner, I will no doubt bitch and moan about him a lot, while he is a fantastic cook.. he is a lousy cleaner upper.Unlike most couples who fight about money..  this is not our issue..  I think I would probably pass out if I saw him with a spray bottle of cleaner!


NEXT QUESTION: If I was in trouble, who would post bail?
He would not be my only jail allotted phone call, though I do love him dearly!


Sherry
My best and longest friend and I have a fab story about how we met.. Sherry and I met after I got my waist length hair shorn to a page boy; my mom got tired of dealing with a lice infestation.. I was 7. I did however get rewarded by having my ears pierced because I was so good! :D It was Brownies Thinking Day..1978 if you need details like that..  and this beautiful girl kept waving her hair like you do when you first get your hair cut, feeling the difference of the length... (come ON you have all know the feeling!!) I timidly approached her and started with the hard questions right away.. "I like your long hair, do you wanna play?" We have been best friends ever since!
Ignorance is BLISS!
10 years later Sherry got her first car, she had been in an accident when we were 10 years old and ended up with a pretty hefty settlement. She bought a Dodge Shadow.. Yeah cause that's how WE roll bitch! She drove into my Grandmother's driveway to pick me up and she had a Handicap plate on her car.  I was like WTF? Why do you have that???  She motioned to herself and replied.. "Ah, you like, never noticed??"   er.. No I didn't!!!!!! 


It's been 32 years now, since we met, we seem to only get together for movies lately, She's that one friend I could see anything with, she not only has seen me cry but she has raced to be with me when I needed someone never a question asked and vice versa, once I X country skied 5 kms to her in a snow storm because she was afraid to be alone..


After we saw Bridesmaids, (Which you have to watch with someone who has held your hair while you're vomiting and pissing your pants)..  she was driving me home, while chewing gum she hears a crack and cusses loudly! She hands me her gum and her tooth and cries "Is that my tooth? Oh My God!! Oh My God!!"


Bingo! I spurt out, "You would post my bail if I ever required? right?" 
To which she replied. "WHAT?!?!?!"
"Nothing" I said wrapping the gum separately from the tooth, "just thinking aloud"
"I hope the tooth fairy comes" 


I called her Mom for good measure and pointed out she should stick a twoonie under her pillow before she gets home.